Absent Minded Muser

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Even if you don’t understand

on October 15, 2010

I was recently told something, it didn’t really bother me, it just made me smirk. But after some consideration, I thought of a reply to such a thing. I won’t publicly say who it was, but it was a response to my journal from Tuesday.

“She needs to grow up.”

Well, I do, I know I do. And at the end of this journal I’ll tell you what I think of that. Until then, I can honestly say that I know what my paper will be about for this class; Coffee. And argument in my work gave me the perfect idea. I am unbiased about most coffee and therefore I can write without judgement on any kind.  The two people argued that Coffee from Starbucks and coffee from another place are just as good.  It got rather hilarious as the one defended and the other threw insults.

I knew then that it was perfect, I love coffee, I know about coffee, I can write a paper on it no problem, perhaps it won’t save lives, or stop crime, but it can put a small stop in the silly arguments about a drink that most Americans enjoy and I do mean most. If I can write it properly, I know I can do it!  I pray that God guides my hand so I can get a good grade.

So, honesty, honesty is key to most things in life.  I want to honestly say, that I love my sister, and her blog posts are so inspiring that I find it hard to post about anything important because I am not good with those kind of words. She is, quite apparently. She makes so much sense, and I wanted to share this with my younger christian friends, only they didn’t seem interested and neither checked it out, instead one did something that bothered me. She began instead to show my pictures of her photography, it was good, but not nearly as beautiful and stunning as my sisters. I was admittedly, annoyed, because my sister just exudes Godly love, everyone should know my sister. They would all see what I see and hear, she is a loving, wonderful, unbelievable person who shows God’s love in everything she does and I only pray to be something like her when I get older, as I grow into myself.

Now, on that subject, here is my reply to the above statement.

“Its hard to grow up when no one was there to show you how.” While many people have parents who show them and help them grow, I was only shown until I was 16, after that…I was simply stumbling on my own trying to live and doing the best that I thought I could. Then being alone after all of that, having to be forced into adulthood, a place I am in limbo on. No one has bothered to talk to me, or show me KINDLY how to grow up, where most children have parents to guide them. I do not. So I’m sorry if I appear childish, I am trying. And I am not mad. I agree with you, its just hard when you have never been shown how. Also, let me add that… having to take care of a sister who is unmotivated in every possible way, who just won’t listen to you because you are younger is hard, and I almost always feel like the older one when she begins to act that way. She had the years to be shown, I did not. So I cannot comprehend how she can act this way, when I am not nearly half her age.

That’s all! Until next Monday.

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