Absent Minded Muser

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When deciding..

on October 29, 2010

When deciding the fate of your future, its best to consult all your friends (trusted) and of course anyone in your family you feel will understand the stress you have. Then pray like mad to God, and just because you don’t receive an answer doesn’t mean He won’t answer you.

Since the beginning of this class, I’ve felt out of sorts, very stressed, upset and blank as a white wall. I’ve considered dropping out a zillion times, but something stopped me. Yesterday, I was going to drop out! I was set on it (After a very unfortunate accident with the cats) but then, one of my lovely sisters suggested I sleep on it and then make a decision.

When I woke up, I was confused, unsure and still wanted to break down and cry because I didn’t know what to do. On the way to work, there was a traffic accident, and this gave me a lot of time to think. I prayed to God, asked Him to show me what to do, because I’m an idiot and can’t do things without Him.  I believe He gave me my answer. I suddenly felt on fire, I was angry with myself for giving in so quickly, I was annoyed that I wanted to “quit” and I am not a quitter! I don’t quit, not even when someone pushes my face into the mud. I just press up and out and tell them I can do it no matter what they do to me. Even when I break down and feel like I can’t do it anymore, even when I feel so hopelessly lost…

That’s when real miracles occur, even if I don’t ever use what I am taught in the future and even if I get a ‘C’ on my whole grade. Isn’t it better that I tried to do it, instead of dropping out like a miserable human-being who just doesn’t want to work? I have been blessed with a lesson, so I need to start learning! Plus, it won’t ruin our holidays, won’t make me ill to talk to my grandparents or the rest of my family. At the very least, it’ll make people happy. So I’ll run with it, and if I trip and fall, well then I’ll just get back up, dust myself off and keep on running.

Dreams are only dreams until you make them into a reality.

I may not be interested in this class, but I’m sure going to give it my all. Thanks so much to my wonderful sisters who put up with me crying like a baby and struggling to be stronger than I need to be. Also, thanks goes to my soon to be brother-in-law, who even though he sounds “harsh” (not really) he is really just trying to help. I appreciate you all so much! and I will work hard so that I don’t let you all down.

And Chels, thanks for being proud of me. It means a lot.


One response to “When deciding..

  1. Crystal says:

    *huggles* I’m glad you’ve made a decision. I love you kiddo and I know you can do it!! We’re behind you 100% of the way! =D

    Also, Dusty didn’t realize he was being harsh. XD

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