Absent Minded Muser

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on January 21, 2011

Girls get giggling about guys. We laugh, squeal, mimic and flop backwards clutching pillows and dreamily explain to our “girlfriends” how much we just “Adore” this guy. These things can change on a dime. We find a new guy and things are different again, then we coo and giggle about the new one. These are defined as crushes amongst most girls. With me, I define them as a pain-in-the-@$$.

They are PITA because they change so often! And if a girl gets too caught up in a crush that will go away–drama ensues. And believe me, I like drama. But this kind of drama? Its like trying to hang yourself by using only your own strength instead of dropping off a balcony with the rope tied to the door. I’ve seen girls swallowed by what should never be blown out of proportion because they are so desperate to hold onto something they are afraid they won’t have again. Excuse me, but…Crushes are like the wind, its constantly changing but it’s usually always there! The chances you won’t have a windy day are what? 1 to 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000?   Yeah, not liking those odds. Plus, its dumb to tell the guy that you have a crush on him! And its unfair, especially when it will die!

For me, when I “crush” on a guy, I never tell him. Simply because I know it will die soon enough and I’ll return to my cocky-swagger-filled self with enough mock and rudeness to scare away most guys I meet. I miss my mean side when I have to sit there and deal with girls going; “*sob sob* Why didn’t he choose me?! I’m BETTER THAN THAT WHORE!” or “Oh-my-gooooooosh!! He says he “loooooooves” me! And  OMGEE!! I’ve only known him for a week!! But this is LUUUUUUUUV!” (over-exaggerated…a little)

Good gosh, are we trying to kill ourselves slowly? People start irritating me to death. But because I am a friend of most of these girls, I sit through this, I nod, I smile and I laugh. Trying not to show them how truly irritating this is! Because, get over it–you will get over it! Face facts and stop throwing yourself into needless torture by “devoting” yourself to a guy you barely even know.  What if he was a serial killer? What then? Or a psycho who likes to bake children? OOH! Nice choice! Those are winners! (Not)

Can someone PLEASE come forward who has any BRAINS?! Please? No..? Well, fine. Even though I claim insanity, these people are more insane than I am. I’d rather not tell my friends that I think they are being stupid and that they aren’t even thinking about what they are doing, they are diving head-first and whats worse is, they don’t see the flaws in their plans like they do in their “other friends who…are just stupid!” Really? Really? Do I REALLY have to spell it out for you that I’m irritated? None of my friends can read me unless I allow them to.

I know this, because neither noticed just how PISSED I am about their “babblings” I think they are making huge mistakes. But its their mistakes. And if they don’t ask me for my opinion, I won’t give it. I don’t want to pop their bubbles of happiness. They would be much happier trusting in God.

Speaking of which, I see my “trusting” in God as a huge failure. Mostly because I screwed up again and let myself be devoured by my physical wants. Sexual immorality is a huge thing in my life. I’ve been struggling with those desires of sinfulness since I was a child. It’s deeply rooted and I fear it will never leave me. I’ve been fighting it off for a long time, and sometimes I win. But last night, I lost. I have a memory problem too, so I can never remember when the last time I gave in was. I’ll start keeping track, I’m frankly sick and disgusted by myself.  COLD WATER FROM NOW ON!!!

Yeah anyway. After dealing with two girls with similar problems, I’d say its safe to say; “I am sick of guys! I’m sick of girls who LOSE ALL SENSE when they “Crush” on a man.” Even though last night I had a strange/weird/creepy/interesting dream about a guy who actually liked me. BTW, he doesn’t exist outside my own brain. So, I kinda giggled about it and then let it go, because let’s face it; he’s not real! And that’s OK, because…he was down-right creepy.

Oh and I’m considering getting my novels online for sale (who knows) Novelled looks like a nice place to start. What’choo think?


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