Absent Minded Muser

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Is this what you want?

on May 9, 2011

You know, life seems hard sometimes. Its times like that when I look around myself, and freeze-frame. What exactly am I doing to better myself? Am I following what God wants, or what I want? Is this how I want to live the rest of my life? Feeling as if I know it all, as if I am better than others, and then becoming jealous, spiteful and even furious to the point of nearly hating that person for their skills? No.

I realized, I didn’t — I don’t, want to live that way. I don’t like it, and neither should you. If you are like me and struggle with the; “I don’t like it, but I don’t know how to change.” part, then I can tell you this now. You only don’t want to change because you’ve been there so long, change would only hurt. Or that’s what your brain will tell you.

It’s not true. Pride is the issue that covers all of that. And as you and I should very well know; Pride is a sin. Don’t be afraid to Hate your pride. It’s Ok to hate it. And then, ask God to show you– not to fix it– to show you how to make a change, and how you can stop acting prideful, and become the person, the Christian, God wants you to be.

I, myself, struggle with Pride. A lot. And God often pricks my conscience and tells me that what I am doing is wrong. Which, I am grateful for. It’s in moments like that I realize just how much I need God. Without Him, nothing in my life would be possible.

God is working in me, to make changes. Don’t expect them fast. But do try hard to change, with God you can. And since I’ve been living in the same attitude for 19 years, I have to cut myself some slack. Its only been a year since I renewed myself. I truly felt reborn last spring. And it was insane. God can do anything, you just have to do your part. Live through Him. This is a message I struggle with, and I see other people struggling with it. But my words often fall on deaf ears, which makes me sad and frustrated. Then I have to pray and ask God to show them what they are missing. The beauty of what their lives could be– Should be– I look forward to the day I can do so much more for God. Because He has already given me the ultimate gift. And I seem to always ask for more, we are never satisfied, but I want to be satisfied in Him.


4 responses to “Is this what you want?

  1. Miles says:

    This is so true, thanks 🙂

  2. Danica says:

    Wonderful bit of writing there~<3
    Thank you for taking the time to write and share it.
    My family and I were just discussing a similar topic during Bible study earlier today…

    Been reading your posts here for awhile, but haven't taken the time to leave a comment until now (a fact which I apologize for).

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