Absent Minded Muser

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To believe?

on May 23, 2011

“Why is it so hard for you to believe, that even in reality, things are possible. The only reason they seem impossible is because you’ve never tried it, or you’ve tried hard to forget it.” – Charles Landrake.

When I hear the words; “that’s impossible.” I feel as if someone is talking to God. Not to me. That someone is looking up at God and saying; “its impossible for You to make this happen.” This shows signs of doubt, and not believing in God.

People question why I believe so strongly in my dreams. I believe in them because anything is possible through God. And if it isn’t possible, God will let me know. But unless He sends me a postcard saying; “This isn’t the right path.” then I’ll keep going.

Why is it so hard to believe that someone sitting next to you, or a friend, or even a family member can accomplish the things they dream of? Why does everyone try so hard to force those dreams out of people’s heads instead of supporting them because they love them enough to see that there is a reality behind this dream. Just because its far away from your mind doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.

Every great writer, or artist in history was once thought of as a lunatic, some were. Others weren’t. The people who can SEE these things like brilliant splashes of color on a canvas are the ones that make names for themselves. Wouldn’t you agree?

God is so beautiful, God is so grand. God’s plans for us are MORE grand and more beautiful than we can EVER imagine. Why not dream big? And let God dream even bigger. That’s why people think I’m insane, because I’m happy.

I’m so very joyful, proud, honored, humbled and grateful to God. I want to shout and sing and dance. It may be hard to believe, but, the Holy Spirit speaks to me through my conscience and I know when I can’t/shouldn’t do something. I’m guided by this force. I’ve always been guided by it. Even when I was a child, I felt it. And I ignored it.

Sometimes I still ignore it, (I pay for it a lot when I ignore it these days).

The reason for this blog is because, my Grandparents came home Friday. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. But we (my sister and I) went over to their house Sunday and spent the whole day there. My grandparents want me to get a full-time Job. If I got one, I couldn’t pursue my career (writing fiction), or the other thing I feel God drawing me to.

I was happy most of the day and when I got home that night, all these feelings that I didn’t realize I had been holding in flooded out of me. And my poor older sister had to take my rant. It was awful. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I felt suffocated, I felt as if someone were reaching their hand into my throat and trying to choke out my dreams and force me to become someone I’m not.

I have had this feeling, nearly all my life when I’m around controlling adults. First my dad, then my grandparents, my mom. I hate that feeling. I cried out to God, and He helped me feel better. Because NO ONE can EVER make you do anything, they can shout, scream, yell, threaten…but you have control of the changes you make, if you let God, He will guide those changes. Only God can tell you how to change. Only God can show you how to be different and where to step next.

I stopped worrying. Because God, and only God has control over my life. And when He is ready to show me a different way. I’ll be ready.

Keep believing Dream believers. You will make it one day. Regardless of what those people say.

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