Absent Minded Muser

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Remembering the Lessons

on February 20, 2012

Today is a good day for speaking about feelings; the feelings of loneliness, of life, and God; love, heartbreak and renewal.  There are lessons in life that have to be learned before we can move along with our lives.  The more stubborn we are about learning them (or not realizing them) the harder and longer it will be before we get to where God wants us to go.

I am the perfect example of a girl who has many, many issues.  I am constantly struggling with my self-image, my ideal life, the things I want vs. the things I need, what God wants for me and want I want for myself.  The battle is figuring out what is right and Godly, against what is wrong and worldly.  It is most definitely not an easy battle to fight, but think of it this way, once you get past this battle, you will be closer to God than ever before. 

My battle is a battle, that I think many people (not just women) fight.  It’s the battle of learning to see yourself through God’s eyes.  What does that mean, through God’s eyes? 

Well, it means thinking about how God views you.  How does God view you? Who are you to God? You, yes you, sitting there at home, in a coffee-house, in your car – stuck or not stuck in traffic, and anyone else who is reading and truly listening: You are special to God.  You are God’s child.  He loves you! Does that mean it’ll be easy? I hope you aren’t under that illusion.  Being a Christian is beautiful, fulfilling, joyous and comforting relationship.  Being a real Christian also means, you have to take the good with all the bad.

The mean words that will come to the life of a person who loves God, we are meant to learn.

And that brings me full circle – I was off topic – to what I wanted to blog about.

God has been teaching me a lesson. No, a lot of lessons.  I was not a patient person, but I am more so now than I’ve ever been.  I am quick to anger; I used to scream my lungs out at people, now I try to fight that urge.  I let my troubles build up until I explode; instead of praying and letting God take away all my pains and troubles, I’m working on that part.

God has been working a lot of lessons in me and I’ve lived in this wretched house, I’ve had a hard time seeing as a blessing, for two years.  I cannot wait to move out, but I hear God whispering in my ear; “Peace, daughter, peace.  You will be free soon enough.”

I hear His promises, and that is the only thing that keeps me from running.  I’m sure I’m not alone in the instinct to run.

We can’t always run, can we? We have to face our problems.  God is dumping opportunities in my lap like an avalanche.  I just don’t like the opportunities.  Isn’t that terrible? Aren’t I awful? What makes me think I am so special I don’t have to take the opportunities?

God is good, we just have to see the good, learn the lessons.  My grandparents and Mom, have a hard time believing me when I tell them that I’ve already thought about, what they have thought about.  I thought about it six months ago.  I am learning the lesson that, some older people don’t like to be told that someone who is 20 or 60 years younger than them, has already thought about their idea.  It’s annoying to me, it shouldn’t bother you! It should make you happy that you know your grandchild or daughter, isn’t dumb.  She has thought about it, knows the end results for a few of the examples (from deductive reasoning). Why is that so hard to believe?

Is that so hard to believe? That God already knows? He knows what you want? What you need and knows that you’d rather have sugar instead of those mushrooms.  But He knows what is best for you, even if you don’t know it yet.

Its fun to look back and go; “Wow that part of my life sucked! But look at what God gave me through that struggle? He has blessed me.”

Being satisfied is only the first step.  Being satisfied with God and the things He has given you. 

I’m taking this moment to thank God for the one of the many, many gifts He has given me: The ability to write and write well.  Thank you, Father.  I couldn’t have done it without you! My Sweet, Loving, Heavenly Lord! I love you, and I am glad to be loved by you.

“…Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.” – Mark 14: 36 – New King James Version.


2 responses to “Remembering the Lessons

  1. “We must all make the choice between what is right and what is easy.” – Dumbledore

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