Absent Minded Muser

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Striving for faith in a storm

on March 30, 2012

I realized something recently.

I grit my teeth a lot.

Especially when I am thinking hard, or drawing.  I grit my teeth.  They ache and ache for a few days… and then I wonder why I was in pain in the first place.

It’s like that when we are trying hard to get close to something.  When we are striving for something that we want so much it hurts.  When we have doubts about who or what we are supposed to be.  We grit our teeth so hard that they hurt.

Then we are reminded of Jesus’ love.  How He cares about us and knows who we are going to be.  I often find myself struggling with the question; “Is this right for me?” And when I ignore my instinct to pray, my teeth ache and so does my relationship with God.

I fought so hard for what I wanted, and ignored what God wanted for me.

These days, I find a very clear and present message.

But I still have my doubts.  At least about some things, I continue asking God; “is this alright? Can I do this?” For now, my heart is at peace.

When though, will it be a storm of trouble, doubt and fear?

When I stop holding onto the faith that has put me here in the first place.  When I lose sight of what God wants for me, and grip hard onto what I want for me.

This all comes back to one simple thing that I am constantly fighting.  I hope, someday, I’ll have the chance to discover if it is for me or not.  Until then, I must keep my heart and head held high.  Because the LORD of all, is by my side.

Have a great weekend!


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