Absent Minded Muser

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I Am Uniquely Me.

on May 9, 2012

What does it mean to strive to be better?

Recently, I’ve discovered that I am walking in a circle.  One that I don’t welcome, and that I am not friends with.

The last thing I have ever wanted in my life, was to be a mundane person with nothing going for them, not even their blessings.

I cannot stand my attitude toward life, and I want to change.  But my fear of disappointing everyone else keeps me from that change.  So what do I do? Basically, I am refusing my change.

I feel that, if I go any deeper down this dark, lonely pit, I’ll never make it out.  Starting today, I’m going to grab myself a journal and start writing about all the things I’m blessed with.  No more moping.  No more sadness.  Jesus Christ has blessed me forever.  Why should I be sorrowful?

Life tends to slow us down, grab hold of us and trip us.  We fall flat on our good intentions and end up doing nothing instead of something.  You see, I have a fear.

A big fear.

I know everyone has a fear and it takes a lot to share it.  My fear is that I will never amount to anything.  That I am inferior to everyone.  I wallow in that fear a lot, and even when I smile or act happy, it can’t disguise the monster of inferiority that threatens to eat me. 

Today, I told a friend that and do you know what he told me? He told me (basically) that I didn’t need to feel inferior.  Because I work at a newspaper, and I finished a book.  

All the tiny things amount to the larger picture. 

Life can slow us down, but why let it?

I’d rather live in my joys.  In my dreams.  Reality is too mundane! Who wants that? I love my world of color and dreams.  I want to love everything God has made, even myself. 

I am not inferior.  I am unique. 

I may not be the best blogger, the best writer, the best artist, the greatest most fantastic person who ever lived, but I am me.  There is only one of me.  I am special, because I have God.

And do you know what?

You are special, too.  Because God loves you, and you have Him.  You will always have Him. 

Here is a list of blessings for today –

1) It’s raining.  What a glorious blessing!

2) I’m being taught how to make a page for the paper I work at!

3) I have a house and my older sister and the ability to reach out to friends.

4) I have my voice.

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One response to “I Am Uniquely Me.

  1. […] days, I can be free and happy and uniquely me! And those are the days I love, because those are the days I gallop around in God’s glory, […]

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