Absent Minded Muser

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Return of the 137 day challlenge!

on February 18, 2013

Before I begin, there is a quote I always remember; “The more you say no, the easier it becomes.” I’m not sure if that’s it exactly… but, that is the basic idea of it.

It was another one of those times.  I pulled the car down to the front of the store, and my sister got in. 

“Can we go to WaWa?” She asked.

“Sure.” I reply, smiling as music blared through the speakers.  We drive quickly past the flashing lights and through one green after another, finally reaching out destination.  We get out, talking and laughing.  I haven’t realized yet what I’m about to do, and how it’s going to change me for 2013.

Entering into the warm climate of WaWa is just like going home.  We frequent this gas station so much, I’m surprised they don’t already know who we are by name.  Our usual is a cup of coffee with Irish creamer, and snacks.  That night, I stare at the sweets; the donuts and muffins and normally, I would want one.  Not tonight, I’m just not feeling it.  I shrug off my sister’s offer to get one for me and decide I want a cookie instead.

That decision right there, when I woke up this morning, I realized how big of a step that was.  Yes, I got a cookie (and it tasted gross), but I didn’t get a donut or a muffin and that is very important.

I end up getting a “Sweet cream pretzel” because they are rare, and I hardly ever eat them.  When I get home, I only eat the pretzel and save the cookie.

I woke up this morning and realized that I hadn’t said “no” to a donut in months.  Months. That is an amazing feat, and I hardly thought about it.

I realized then, in that moment, that all I needed to do was not say anything about this to myself.  No “I’m going to do this!”; no “It will get done.” I need to turn those thoughts into actions that I do automatically without thinking. That is the only way that has ever worked for me (I constantly forget that.)

I was pretty mopey this morning, regardless of my realization.  After seeing a beautiful friend, I felt so broken and beaten.  I’m definitely not that beautiful, but God reminded me that sometimes all we need is someone who believes in us to get us back up, and I have God and a great friend who listened to me complain, and encouraged me.  I feel better and this time, I’m going to make it. 137 days, here I come!

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